Ollie Jones Kindergardenur
by Choco Chipmunk
Summary: Junie B., Step aside. It's Ollie's turn now. A hilarious, cute story of Ollie's life.
1. Chapter 1

OLLIE JONES KINDERGARDENUR

"OLLIE JONES, YOU GET OUTTA MY ROOM THIS INSTANT!"

"Okay, Junie I'm going. Just let me check for that worm I put in your desk this morning."

"YOU PUT A WORM IN MY DESK! OH OLLIE, YOU ARE GOING TO GET IT NOW!"

"Get what now?"

"That's it. YOUR DEAD!"

_FREAZ _

_Hola, I am Ollie. Otherwise known as Dark Lord underscore 135986. You have probably herd of me from my sister's books. I used to be a baby back then. I am a big kid now. I don't even wear Pull- Ups anymor. I wear big boy underpants, like my Mommy likes to cal dem. I havent bin brainwashed like Junie B, so don't worry. Let me first get ONE POINT STRAIT. KINDERGADERNURS DONT PLANT GARDENS LIKE I TOUGHT. THEY SIT AND LURN AND NOT WATCH TV. My sister already got to write a book, so now I am riting a book. Now don't make a mistake and think that this will be like Puny Junie's books. I don't rite girly books. _

_NOW BAK TO THE DRAMA_

"MOOOOOOMMMMMMYYYYYYY!"

I screamd and grabbed her legs. Then I made my eyeballs big and wide and made a puppy face and lookes at Mommy and said,

"Mommy, please don't let Junie B. kill me. I love you."

"JUNIE BEATRICE JONES! WHY IN THE WORLD ARE YOU SCARING POOR LITTLE OLLIE?" she hollered up there.

"Mom, I am not killing him, I was just scaring him for putting his dumb worm in my desk." She said as she came down. Then she looked at me and growled.

"MOMMY! JUNIE JUST GROWLED ME OUT!"

"Junie B.! I'm surprised at you! You should be a role model for Ollie!"

"Mom, I hate to break it to you but Junie isn't pretty."

"Well squirt, you aren't exactly a male model either…"

"Ollie honey, role model doesn't mean someone who is pretty. It mans someone hwo puts up and example for you. And Ollie, If I catch you with another critter close to your sisters room, YOU WILL BE IN BIG TROUBLE."

"Yeah, Ollie. BIG trouble." Said Junie.

"Junie B., if you ever threaten your brother again, you will be doing double chores for TWO months!"

I just went up to my room, closed and locked the door, thought up a scheme. A scheme that will leave Junie screaming. And I wouldn't be the one that would be blamed. Who should it be? Hmm… Oh! I know!

Herbert


	2. Chapter 2

~ Chapter 2~

Haha! I got it. For dose of you hoo do not noe, Junie B. is still skared of clouns! I hav da PURFECT plan!

"Mommy, can we do my birthday party this weekend?"

"Honey, your birthday party isn't until next month."

"Yeah but I want to have a party early."

"How about you have a regular party? You can invite your friend and I'll bring a movie."

"And a clown!"

"Sure honey, we can get a clown."

"Thank you, thank you , thank you! Just one more thing, I just want the costume mom, not the clown."

"Who is going to wear it?'

"You'll see."

~In Junie B.'s Room~

"I'm havin a PARTY, I'm havin a PARTY!" I screamed skipping around Junie's room.

"SHUT UP, fatty!"

"MOMMY, JUNIE SAID THE F WORD!"I could hear mommy's feet thumping up the stairs.

"JUNIE BEATRICE JONES! HOW DARE YOU USE VULGAR LANGUAGE AROUND OLLIE?"

"Oh puh-leeze Mother! I just called him a fatty. He wouldn't know what the F-word was if it punched him in the face."

"MOMMY! She just threatened me! Make her do double chores!"

"Oh Ollie, she wasn't threatening you. Ok, now you two be good, I'm running to the store real quick. Junie, you're in charge," Mother said motherly.

"Why does SHE get to be in charge?" I said pointing at Puny Junie.

"Because I am older and more mature."

"Don't use big words around me," I said stomping out of her room.

I decided it was now time to call Herbert.

~The Phone Call~

"Hi Herbert. It's me, Ollie Jones!"

"Hey buddy."

"Are you busy this SAT and SUN?"

"Excuse me?"

"I said are you busy this SAT and SUN, otherwise known as THE WEEKEND."

"Oh, no I'm not busy, why do you ask?"

"Cause…IM HAVIN A PARTY!"

"On Sat or on Sun?"

"What are you talking about Herbert! I would NEVER have a party on the SUN. Everybody would burn up! And I would NEVER have a party on SAT cause then all people who do is SIT around! But I will do my party on Saturday."

"Okay… buddy. I'll be there."

'"WAIT! I have to ask you something. Will you be my clown?"

"Haha, sure. Anything for you, Ollie Jones."

"Thank you Herbert."

"Dude, you can call me Herb."

"You mean like those herbs Mommy plants in her garden?"

"Umm, sure…? Anyways I have to go little guy."

"I am NOT little. I am a BIG KID. I wear BIG BOY underpants."

"I'm sure you do. Bye BIG KID"

"Bye!"

~Back at Home~

"Ollie, who were you talking to?" Junie asked me.

"NO one special."

"DAD! Ollie was on the phone for more than five minute, and it WASN'T Grandma!"

"Ok, ok, I'll tell you. It was…umm, Robert. Yeah, it was Robert!"

"Puh-lease, you don't even KNOW a Robert!"

"Well, how are you supposed to know that, Puny Juny?"

"What ever, Puny Ollie," she said as she stopmed away.


	3. Chapter 3

~Chapter 3~

~The Party Day~

So hear we ar eting brekfast wile Mommy was seting up the play rum for my PARTYYYYY!

"PARTAY, PARTAY! I'M HAVIN A PARTAY!" I scremed very maturly at the top of mi lungs, watever tht means.

"SHUT UP! I'm TRYING to digest my food!" shrieked Juny.

"JUNIE BEATRICE JONES! Do NOT use vulbar language around me! Mommy said so!"

"Ok Ollie, A. Its vulgar not vulbar. B. you don't even know what vulgar language is. And C. dear brother of mine who I HATE, I wasn't even using vulgar language."

"MOMMMYYYYY! Junie's being mean to me on my PARTAY DAY!"

"Ok Ollie and Junie, I'll make you a deal. Ollie if you promise not to annoy your sister, I will bring TWO cakes for your party. And Junie, if you promise not to yell at Ollie during his party, I'll take you and your friends to that new movie on Saturday," said mother.

"Fine Mom," we both agreed and shook on it. I don't really know what that means but I know it's a grown up way of saying agree.

~Party Time~

_DING DONG! _

Finally people were coming to my party! One by one, all my friends came in. At last, Herbert walked in. I called him to my closet and gave him the clown costume. Then I telled him what to do, and then he said,

"Okay Buddy! But what is Junie B. gonna say when she sees me?"

"Well, she'll scream of course!"

"Umm…isn't that a bad thing?"

"Why?"

"When a girl screams, you run to the chicken coop before she explodes!"

"Oh. I never thought about that!"

"So now, do you still want me to wear this costume?"

"Of course! I still need to get revenge on Juny!"

"I'll do it but you have to tell Junie B. that it was your idea."

"Why? Cuz you looooooove her?" I said while making kissy noises.

"Dude, not cool! You already know that!"

"OKAY, OKAY, ENOUGH OF THE CHIT CHAT! JUST GO PUT ON THE SUIT!" I yelled.

"Okay Buddy," he said then went to put the costume on.

"HAHAHAHAHA! I'M AT MY PARRRRTAY! I'M AT MY PARRRRRTAY! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!" I said to annoy Juny.

Mother quik came 'round to me and wispered, "Remember the deal?" I managed not to smirk (whatever that is) and said, "Oh yeah! Sorry mommy! Not gonna happen again!"

Then real quick I went and found Juny. Then I wispered to her, "Your gonna love wat happns next!" Then I smild at hur real big and skippd away.

Then I see a huge clown shoe on our staicase.

"Junie, Junie I want you to see something."

I lead her to the staircase and tell her stand right there. I quik run away into the closet. Two seconds later I hear a scream.

"AHHHHH! WHAT THE HECK! MOM! WHO INVITED A CLOWN! WHY IS HE SPRAYING STUFF AT ME! MMMOOOOOMMMMMM!"

Ahh sweet revnge…


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**O**

**L**

**L**

**I**

**E**

After I heared Juny screem, I runned as my feet could take me to my close-it. I had prepaired for this. I closed and locked the close-it then I put all my big shoe boxes in front of the door and sat their until Juny would stop screeming. I could hear mommy's angry feet coming to my rum. _Don't breathe Ollie, don't even breathe…_ Too late! I accidently breathed wich made me step back knocking down the BIG tower of shoe boxes down. I heared more feet running, and I heard Juny tell mom, "I'll check in Ollie's room, you check in the play room!"

"Ok, dear!" said Mom. _Uh-oh. She knowed where I is jailed, I think. Or was it where I is __located?_ Before I could do anything, Juny throwed open the door and…and did nothing. _Strange…_ Wait! That isn't Juny, it was Herby! Wonder how they sound so much alike?

"Oh Ollie it's only you…" Herby said. He was out of his clown clothes. There was this look in his eyeballs. I couldn't get it.

"Well, hellooooo to you too Mr. Herby! Is Junie mission accomplished?" I said jumping out of the closet.

"Ollie, you have no idea what happened," he said running his fingers threw his hare. _Or was it hair?_

"What happened?"

"Junie, screamed so loud I fell back. She pulled the wig and mask off my head and saw it was me. Then she said 'You, Herb?' then she slapped me before I could explain everything and ran upstairs." He stroked his cheek, _why is he doing that?_

"Then we heard a big 'BOOM' and we came running upstairs, and now we're here," he finished.

I heared more feet coming to the room. It was mommy.

"Herbert, did you find her?" she asked, she had the same look in her eyeballs as Herby.

Just then, I heared a glass shatter and a screem com, it was from Juny's room. Mommy and Herby looked at each other, then they both runned out of the rum. They probably went to Juny's rum. I looked outside. It was pich dark and their was a thunderstorm. I desided to follow them. It was scary outside.

Just as I entered Juny's rum, I seeed three things. Juny's window was broken, Herby jumped out of the broken window, and mom ran out of Juny's rum, downstairs and out the front door. _Hmm…so THAT'S what broke…_

So I watched threw my NOT broken window how Herby runned after some person that was running. Then I saw mommy running behind them. I couldn't see what happened next 'cause they turned around a corner, so I just sitted there and waited in my rum.

**H**

**E**

**R**

**B**

Okay, listen, I know this is Ollie's book, but I figured he would want to know what happened eventually. Anyways, I heard Junie B. scream. That's all I needed to hear. I got up and ran into her room. Her window was broken. She smashed it with her favorite jewelry box, which was also in pieces next her window. _I gave her that box...if only she had listened to me._

I did the one thing my gut told me to do. I jumped out the window. I heard Mrs. Jones scream. Though, I didn't care. I looked for someone, or something. Then I saw her, I saw Junie B. sitting on the bench across the street. She was crying. I ran to her. That was my mistake. She got up and ran.

"JUNIE B WAIT! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED!" I hollered as I ran after her. She didn't wait. She kept running. I thought I would never catch her. Ever.

**There. I threw in some Herbert and Junie B. I try to make it interesting, you know. Please rate, and check out the polls on my profile about each of my stories. For this one, "What do you think Junie B. should do?" Answer choices are on my profile. I need help deciding what to put for the next chapter! Thanks!**


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